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Thursday, June 16, 2011

Beaten but refined through the Fire



Psalms 66:10-12 “For You, O God, have tested us; You have refined us as silver is refined. You brought us into the net; You laid affliction on our backs. You have caused men to ride over our heads; We went through fire and through water; But You brought us out to rich fulfillment.”


When God had opened my eyes to His Truth, that was the pivital moment when His refining process started for me. God utillizes other people and circumstances for our refinement. I was very excited when I realized what the calling God had instored for me. I was very excited but I did not know what was waiting ahead for me and the price that would be required.

God allowed many people to trample and come against us (Steve and I). It seemed the more we tried, the more we were trampled and mocked behind our backs. A few years ago, we were in business and we had spent our time and resources to help people and advance the Kingdom of God. We preached uncompromised TRUTH as the Lord taught us. It was to save their souls from ending up in hell. But many of them at the end betrayed us. Many people betrayed and back stabbed us which left me dispair and hurt. I personally did not want to continue in the calling/ministry that God had entrusted. I had laid on my stomach on the floor profusely crying to God. I told HIM, "I will not open my mouth to prophecy anymore. I will not reveal any more words for people." The scar was driven deep.

In that instant moment, God clearly spoke to me with His soft but STERN voice, "Repent and forgive them. Love them and pray for them." 

I was shocked! I thought for certain the Lord would come to my side. But His first word was for me to repent. He did not tell me to go tell them to repent but He told me to repent. I had two choices. The first choice was to obey and the second choice was to defend myself and ask Him, "What did I do that was wrong?" 

I did not hesitate. I repented in tears. If I had given a foothold to the hurts and wounds, there would have been a huge gap for the enemy to enter my body and build a stronghold. 

God knew what was best for me. Whenever I would cry out to God because I was stressing out through the trials and they felt too much of a burden to bear, God would sternly rebuke me. "Are you suffering more than I had suffered? Are you higher than I? No one can experience more pain or suffering than I had to go through." I was not able to open my mouth anymore. 

PLEASE READ BELOW SCRIPTURES AS YOU MEDITATE.

Isaiah 53
He was despised and rejected by men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
so HE OPENED NOT HIS MOUTH.

Who are we to complain?  Who are we to hold resentment or hurts inside of our hearts? If our King and Lord silently went through the suffering process, who are we to keep complaining? Let us learn from His humility. Our King was spat on, punched, whipped, and embarrassed in public (he wore nothing, completely naked in public). He was pierced for our transgressions. He was crucified and yet, He loved those who hung Him on the cross. He even prayed for them. He died for them.

People love to point their finger at other people for hurting or wounding them. But do we not realize it is God who has allowed the painful situation to materialize? Do we even realize it is God who is shinning His Light onto the dark ugly of our hearts to be exposed? Do we even realize in any given situation, it is really about looking at how we will react rather than how others react? Are we going to be thankful to the Lord for allowing such situations so we can learn what is hidden in our hearts and grow in Grace? If it hurts, our flesh is still kicking and flipping like a fish. It needs to DIE! Let God be God.

Job 5:17-19 "Behold, happy is the man whom God corrects; Therefore do not despise the chastening of the Almighty.”

Proverbs 17:3 “The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, But the LORD tests the hearts.”

I knew I was walking on the narrow road as I had to experience all that was painful. Obedience is learned through suffering. I knew I had to carry my cross all the time not just when I felt like it. Previously, I was a very sensitive and emotional girl who was easily hurt and offended. My husband took it much better than I did. Perhaps, we women are much more sensitive than the males. We are built different and therefore can compliment each other for our strength and weakness. 

But unless the flesh and emotions are crucified on the cross and unless the flesh and emotions are dealt with, God would not have been able to use me on a greater scale. In order to go higher, we must go lower (decrease). Even after experiencing much betrayal and painful situations, God still continued to place me in challenging, painful, and wounding circumstances. At that time, I did not know God was intentionally numbing my sensitivities and emotions. He had to take all the impurities out of my flesh so that He could properly use me. He was beatening me into a beautiful sword. All our weakness has to be dealt with so that the enemy cannot use it against us. 

As we walked and experienced the fierce trials which beat, mold, and refined us, our flesh screamed in pain. It felt many times as though we were suffocating. But in the end, all who go through such refinement will be rejoicing for it would all be worth it. We will become more like our Lord,  Jesus. All Christians must rid of “I” or “me” mentality. I am hurt, I am wounded, How about my feelings, How about my emotions, me, me, me…This is all junk that needs to go. It is not about I or me anymore. God had bought us with His precious blood it has to be ALL ABOUT Him NOW. This “I" mentality is also stealing God’s glory and we do not even realize that it redirects the focus back on us. So many Christians do not understand the meaning "to deny oneself carrying the cross."

Matthew 16:24-25 24Then Jesus said to His disciples, If anyone desires to be My disciple, let him deny himself [disregard, lose sight of, and forget himself and his own interests] and take up his cross and follow Me [[a]cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying, also].  25For whoever is bent on saving his [temporal] life [his comfort and security here] shall lose it [eternal life]; and whoever loses his life [his comfort and security here] for My sake shall find it [life everlasting].

The worldly people have the mentality of retaliation,  “I’m going to get back at you!” This is a world mentality. But sadly, in these last days, Christians have the same mentality. Christians are being martyred and beaten by persecuting countries. To the world, martyred and persecuted Christians look “stupid." They ask,  'Why do they not fight back?'

Our course, they do not know our sufferings and endurance will bring forth much FRUIT and save many souls from entering HELL? We are suppose to be spiritual beings. Let us live and walk as spiritual beings growing in Grace and moving from Glory to Glory.

Luke 6:29 “To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also…”
For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

1 Peter 4:1-2 “Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind, for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin,”

The worldly people often go to court and fight. Why? Because they are trying to prove they are “right” and others are “wrong”. They will try to vindicate or prove themselves at any cost. This creates more pain and wounds. Such actions will complicate their circumstances. But do we know in these last days, many Christians are doing just as the world? Who is our vindicator? Many Christians are sitting on God's “throne”.  

I want to describe a experience Steve and I went through. As many of you already know,  we had translated all 5 series of books for the “Baptize by blazing Fire” by Pastor Kim, Yong Doo. We translated out of obedience. We translated knowing that many will be saved through this book. Our intention was pure and innocent.

When Pastor Kim came to the revival in Los Angeles, California last year, few pastors and their followers attempted to slander our intentions due to their jealousy. They told Pastor Kim that the books were translated  religiously, rough, and too difficult to understand. They told Pastor Kim that our intention was to gain fame through his book. They told him that we had“used him”. God did not initially disclose the truth to Pastor Kim about our well intentions in translating the books and God allowed him to speak harshly at us. It was a test for us. God had allowed this event with Pastor Kim, Yong Doo to train us. Pastor Kim had initially believed the other pastor and their church. We were listening to his rebuke as I was crying inside. My husband does not fluently speak Korean so he did not really understand what was being said. 

 Nevertheless, I did not talk back or attempt to defend our position. In that instant moment, once again, God spoke to me. “Will you let Me vindicate you? Or are you going to be offended?” It was my test and God was observing how we would be handling this situation. I told the Lord, “Please vindicate us”. That was all I had to say. Only after one day had passed, Pastor Kim called us into his room. He said the Lord has something to say to us. The Lord used Pastor Kim’s own lips to prophesied to us.  I will not specifically disclose what the Lord had said, but the Lord vindicated us through Pastor Kim’s own mouth. Pastor Kim seemed surprised knowing that we did not use him in any way. This was after all our first contact with him meeting him and his wife. Our innocence were proven by our King. He is our vindicator. Jesus was complimenting us so gently. Jesus was cheering us up as He said He is very pleased with our work. Our God is awesome!!

Deuteronomy 32:36 “For the LORD will vindicate his people and have compassion on his servants,...”

Dear brothers and sisters, our pride must die. Our selfishness must die. Our fleshly feelings and emotions must die. Our jealousy must die. Our competitive desires toward other servants of God must die. All our flesh must be crucified on the cross. Let God refine us and let Him make us into the beautiful sword. Without the beating process and without pain, we will NEVER be His beautiful weapon. Let us completely die and Let Our King live in us. Let our choices to be thrown out. Let our King be our Lord in every area. Let us be led by the Spirit then your flesh won’t have a chance.  

God had taught us “Be quick to repent. Be quick to obey. Be quick to forgive.” He always reminds us “Do not be deceived, do not get corrupted, and do not fall away.” Let us learn His humility. Do not let your stubbornness fill your hearts otherwise your heart will become hardened. Let us always be open to corrections and chastisement. Let us always be teachable. When we humble ourself, we will hear God more clearly. We will always be tested to the end in regards to our humility. We will walk this narrow road knowing we can be wrong and be corrected? Or will our pride get us in the way to HIM?

Zechariah 13:9 “I will bring the one-third through the fire, Will refine them as silver is refined, And test them as gold is tested. They will call on My name, And I will answer them. I will say, 'This is My people'; And each one will say, 'The LORD is my God.'

Galatians 5:16
16But I say, walk and live [habitually] in the [Holy] Spirit [responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit]; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God).


Fire of God
Yoojin Kim

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