During these days, Daddy allowed me to feel what it is like to be without Him. The demons attacked me severely even in my dreams or when I am awake they will irritate me up to the point that it leaves me feeling so hopeless. But even I pray, Daddy seems like so distant to me. It seems like He is not hearing me. It seems like He is allowing me to suffer from agony of being attacked by those demons and the sadness of feeling alone.
Daddy answered me and said that I am one of those people who seek for His comfort. I cannot even stand to suffer without asking for His comfort. This, I admit, because whenever He hides Himself from me, I would complain and cry. I would cry and ask why He is hiding from me, why He is so distant, why He is not helping me, why He is allowing those demons to attack me.
He said that I love His comfort more than I love Him. He said that it is self-love. He said that I seek His comfort because I dont want to suffer for Him. He said that He allowed all of it to teach me a lesson and to open my eyes to the truth.
While I was pondering on these thoughts, He gives me instances of what self-love means. I remembered JESUS crucifixion. I remembered how His disciples hate to see His cross and how JESUS had love the cross by embracing it. He loved His cross and carried it because for Him, it is us whom He carries. It is us whom He loves more than His own self.
When JESUS was here on Earth, He has many followers but none of them was willing to help Him carry His cross. Many are just seekers of comfort but only few are willing to suffer tribulation. Many follows Him for miracles, but only few follows Him when He was being persecuted and they were ashamed of HIS cross. Many love JESUS as long as nothing bad will happen to them. Many will continue to be with Him as long as they taste the Lords comfort and blessings. But what if GOD withdraws His comfort? Will we still follow Him? Are we lovers of self more than lovers of Christ?
When JESUS called for Daddy and asked if it is possible to take the chalice from Him, Daddy withdraws Himself from Him. He didnt respond to JESUS, which means that the answer is NO. But yet, JESUS obeyed His Fathers will without complaining. He suffered on the cross severely. Daddy hides His comfort from JESUS that time. Yet, JESUS showed His love for us. It is unselfish love. He loves us more than He loves His life.
Those who truly love JESUS will love Him in all tribulations. And even if He hides His comfort from them, they will still praise Him and give Him thanks. This is what it means of loving JESUS. It is unmixed with the love of gain or love of self. Love is willing to suffer without asking for any gain. Love is never afraid of giving too much.
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
All glory and honor to my FATHER in Heaven, to JESUS, and HOLY SPIRIT who teaches me on how to love unconditionally.
-Daddys girl
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